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reading update // the one where Hawke just stands and suddenly i’m a senseless simp

*GASP* a post about reading?? I think this is the first post since 2017 where I’m going to talk about books on here :O Although I made tabs for reading and ratings, I have yet to post anything bookish related and I was fine with that! As most of my bookstagram friends now know, I’m on a posting hiatus on instagram. I haven’t properly addressed my break but I guess I could briefly explain in simple words that I’M SICK AND TIRED OF EETSJKF : the constant bickering about the algorithm, not reading enough, posts flopping (whatever that means), and the damn QOTDs👹 The book community has diminished into people stressing about numbers and aesthetics and I’m not here for it-_- For the past 4-5 years of me being on bookstagram, I’ve seen a constant pattern of people posting and commenting for the sake of posting and commenting and a part of me is like you do you !! However, I came on there to talk about books in joosy detail AHHHHH BUT along the way I also fell into that pattern. I thought making a new account would get me out of that weird mindset and it did!! For a year and a half, I made life long friends and I discovered amazing series and books and made a lot of my friends read my favorite books:)) It’s been a fun and chaotic time but I’ve noticed that this year feels different and I no longer have the same excitement to talk about books. I’m thinking this is because instagram captions don’t give me enough room to ~discuss~ but also the comments and interactions I receive seem robotic and forced. I think I would much rather feel comfortable talking about books in my own space: my blog yay:O


This isn’t to say I’m never coming back (or is it??), I’m sure something will motivate me to post a photo because I liked the way it looks or I need every one of my followers to read something right this instant!! I just think we have fallen into this hole of caring too much about the number of likes, comments, and books we read. It stresses me out and stresses other people out – I know it does not have to affect my mental health and my reading choices but being surrounded by zombie behavior turns me off from books. I don’t want that because I want to be excited about reading !! For now, I am refraining myself from posting and endlessly scrolling like a zombie on instagram. I think this space feels more freeing and I am excited to share what I have been reading recently! Snapping my friends, Sab and Naz, videos of me crying about my reads while using the broccoli filter has been so fun and it kind of pulled me out of complaining about bookstagram. I thought I was tired of talking about books online altogether but to be honest I’m just not satisfied with the interaction I get on instagram. So, here I am!! I am in no way a professional at talking about books online, so please don’t expect that from me lmao sdjfksfh I’m just here vibing and I’ll occasionally critically analyze something if I’m in the mood. I very much appreciate long comments and I’m more than willing to go back and forth with y’all:)) OK EXHALE, I had to rant about all of that before I could transition into talking about dumb book boyfriends 😛

  • If I Never Met You by Mhairi McFarlane
  • Rating: 3/5 stars
  • Goodreads Synopsis
  • Date read: February 1

I picked this up on a complete whim at around midnight because I was on a hunt for a romance novel with a POC main character. Romance novels are my top choice when my brain can’t handle high fantasy or painful literary fiction. They are so fast paced (if done well) and put me in such a good mood (if it’s not sad) and for a millisecond I believe in love:O In other words, I just wanted to ~feel the love that night~ BUT *grabs your collar* this book was just straight vibes and giggles and I was not here for it! I wish I could show you my broccoli filter videos on snap because I really was going through it when I was disappointed over and over again by this PG romance. This book took slow burn to another level and then insta love to another planet -___-  Despite being let down countless times, I still had fun reading it for some reason lolol I loved staying up at ridiculous hours and spoiling the crap out of it to my friends and I loved Jamie the Scoundrel(he was cute hehe) The author really said nope you’re not simping tonight>:( I’m going to make you have feelings for the main character, you’re going to sympathize for her and feel hurt about her situation MUAHAHAH>:)

— blood and ash series —

  • From Blood and Ash by Jennifer L. Armentrout
  • Rating: 3/5 star
  • Goodreads Synopsis
  • Date read: February 4
  • Trigger Warnings: sexually explicit content, sexual assault, violence, blood/stabbing
me any time hawke shows up

Whenever I think about this book I want to ugly giggle under my covers lmaodksjfksjagh This book was pure entertainment and I loved both of the main characters. Poppy is so incredibly badass and I felt so sad about her situation! I just wanted to reach through the pages and pat her head because she needs a fucking break, my goodness. I was super annoyed with the way JLA revealed the world building; I was completely confused for 86 percent of the book ma’am. Also, the pacing was utterly disastrous – this did not need to be ~this long~ and ~this slow~ However, the characters made up for everything. It was so fun to read the banter between them and the sweet/funny moments between Poppy and Tawny(side note I don’t like that JLA named the lady-in-waiting, a woman of color, this :T) or Poppy and Viktor or Poppy and,,,,Hawke sdjfhdkshg  Hawke is SO MUCH to handle and the bare minimum at the same time. I don’t know how else to describe him. He just stands in the corner and suddenly I’m making incoherent noises under my covers at 3am. He’ll be like🧍‍♂️and I’m keyboard smashing skfkdsjsfksdjhfk out loud. I read a 600ish page book in 2 days that was clearly written like a fanfiction story…I’m not sure if I should be impressed or to laugh at myself.

  • A Kingdom of Flesh and Fire by Jennifer L. Armentrout
  • Rating: 4/5 stars
  • Goodreads Synopsis
  • Date read: February 11
  • Trigger Warnings: sexually explicit content, violence, blood, descriptions of war
perfectly sums up Poppy

Of fucking course, I had to pick up the next book the second I finished FBAA. I blame Sab for letting me indulge in self-destructive behavior. I read this 700+ page bitch in 4 days and all at 12am-3am. I honestly don’t know why I chose such an addictive read before bed sdkjhsdk My experience was basically “just one more chapter” but I ended up reading like 200+ pages in one sitting SIGH,,,I hate me -__- I actually thought this book was much better even though the pacing and world building was once again disastrous. I loved all of the fight scenes and wow can I take Poppy’s hand in marriage?? She can beat me up and I’d say “thank you, I deserved that” even though I was probably just standing, disrespectfully, next to her. Although I seem like(am??) the biggest Hawke enthusiast, I was still very suspicious about him in the first book because we barely know anything about his backstory. I am so satisfied with his character development and the way Poppy and him worked through each other’s struggles and concerns. I loved the sweet and hilarious moments between them and I can’t wait for the third book! ALSO KIERAAANNNNNNN<333 His dry humor is so fucking funny and I found myself laughing out loud for several minutes because he said/did something dumbT-T Also also loved Delano and Niall – perfect side characters and source of comedic relief. These books were so much fun to read and now I have ridiculous snap memories of me using the broccoli filter and going through it at 3 am:)


  • It Ends With Us by Jennifer L. Armentrout
  • Rating 3/5 stars
  • Goodreads Synopsis
  • Date read: February 14
  • Trigger Warnings: sexually explicit content, domestic violence, attempted rape, slut shaming

I read this in 12 hours and my goodness the way my heart has been tossed around like a sack of potatoes in cargo is actual discrimination. The writing style bothered me a lot because it was amateur and read like a wattpad fic. I am highly disappointed in Hoover because she’s published many, many books before this one and yet this book felt like a first draft! I wish she put more effort in writing this because it covers a really important topic (It had so much potential to hurt me even more sigh,,,) Her biggest problem was definitely telling how the characters were feeling and not showing it through descriptions and other literary devices. Despite all of that bad jazz, I still very much enjoyed this because of the insane character development and plot! The story was equally jarring, funny, sweet, and sad:(( I honestly feel like a clown with the way she played with my heart sdfhkdsfhk thank you Sab for motivating me to pick up such a numbing book:) These characters will be unforgettable and I genuinely think everyone should pick up this book! I don’t know how to add more things to say without spoiling it so my final thought: atlas<33333

OK WOAH SO MANY WORDSSS<33333 I feel like I just burst a balloon filled with confetti. I missed talking about books online and I know these all seemed like guilty pleasure books dshsdkjg but they were a lot of fun to read. I think I’m finally ready to read some big brain books though (pssst jade war??0-0)! N e way, I hope y’all enjoyed me rambling about Hawke’s amazing ability to just stand in the corner and create ~TENSHUN~ with no effort.

idk how else to end this so here’s my favorite photo from my camera roll right now:

nvm it’s gone lol

21 thoughts on “reading update // the one where Hawke just stands and suddenly i’m a senseless simp


    Liked by 1 person

    1. WOW READ THIS SO LATE BUT IT MADE ME SMILE!! I miss talking about books online and I’m so tempted to post on Instagram LOLJDHFJSB don’t worry Jade War is still collecting dust on my tv cart – she likes to judge me in the middle of the night 😫


  2. AGH DIAAA I MISS UR RAMBLY SELF!! I LOVED THIS POST AHH i’m literally just sitting here as the sun goes down, with that seventeen playlist playing in my ears, in the corner of my bed and giggling at ur keyboard smashes and rants agh. you really know how to make ppl laugh T.T u cute that’s all.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. OMG this was so much fun to read ❤
    It’s so clear that you’ve been having such a great time reading, and now I’m even more pumped to finally read From blood & ash, it sounds like so much fun

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I WANT TO PUT A MEME WHY CANT I OMG seeing u screech about things you love MELTS ME 😭 im so happy about all of your decisions and im so happy you know what you like and what you don’t and how to curate your space and I just djskfnkwjdjskhdjdjajdbwjjdkkdnjs hawke seems like a nice a guy I kinda wanna meet him 🥺

    Liked by 1 person

    1. dkfjhsdfkds i miss gushing about books :OOO i’ll definitely be posting more bookish posts on my blog~ AND sdkfdsgk i’m sure you won’t like this book/series but Hawke is so sweet and too much to handle dskdgkdshfg i just wanna put him in my pocket even tho he’s like 500 feet taller than me and can snap me in half.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. listening to you gush about ANYTHING is so fun but books too?? we love to see it. I’m said you didn’t love it ends with us, it’s one of my faves but happy u at least had a good time with it, and yes ATLAS <333333 i love ur memes please never stop

    Liked by 1 person

    1. i said listening as if ur yelling it at me but u know what I mean, reading blah blah, but I can hear ur thoughts in my head as i read so, basically the same as listening to you 🙂


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